I think I saw you, maybe I just did. Was it you or not? I’m not really sure of it. It’s been years… and I’m not even certain when was the last time our eyes met. Though seeing you was just an imagination you never failed to make my heart skip a beat. You really are a good painter you always paint that pink shade on my face. You can even magically turn my frown upside down! Now I am happy for vague reason, even I can’t explain. How much more if I see you again in person? Oh, when will I ever see you again?

I think I saw you, maybe I just did. Was it you or not? I’m not really sure of it. It’s been years… and I’m not even certain when was the last time our eyes met. Though seeing you was just an imagination you never failed to make my heart skip a beat. You really are a good painter you always paint that pink shade on my face. You can even magically turn my frown upside down! Now I am happy for vague reason, even I can’t explain. How much more if I see you again in person? Oh, when will I ever see you again?

Browsing through some old photos I have here since childhood makes my heart filled with different emotions. The memories it brings me is so fresh like it just happened yesterday. It makes me yearn for the happiness, the smiles, the laughter I had when it was captured. It makes me miss those people who have gone  ahead of us. It makes me remember the people who had made my past so great. It makes me wanna cry at the same time giggle. Sometimes, no! all the time, I wish I could go back… to my simple and happy life.

Temporary relief brought about by pizza and their company… <3 <3 <3

Ibn ‘Abbas narrated:

“I was behind the Prophet one day when he said: ‘O boy! I will teach you a statement: —Be mindful of Allah and He will protect you. Be mindful of Allah and you will find Him before you. When you ask, ask Allah, and when you seek aid, seek Allah’s aid. Know that if the entire creation were to gather together to do something to benefit you – you would never get any benefit except that Allah had written for you. And if they were to gather to do something to harm you – you would never be harmed except that Allah had written for you. The pens are lifted and the pages are dried.’”

At-Tirmidhi
Parasahan sin mabayah tuod kaw jumatu in hambuok ya’angan angan sin pangatayan mo…
sah hyapus na kaw…
misan byadin in kabayah mo way na kusog sin baran iban utok mo tumikang pa pa unahan.
Kyananaman nyu na baha’ yadtu?
Today marks the day where I give up my hopes and dreams and fantasies about having a beautiful, well spent summer vacation. Time to say goodbye to my long-planned break this year and focus on how to survive in remedial class instead. :’(

actorleeminho —So Near yet so Far

Hours of waiting. Standing long enough with numbed and swollen feet. Heat from the outside til inside the air-conditioned Coliseum. Sweat mixed with others. Stinky smell all over. Infuriating pushing-and-pulling of the people around with muscle aches after. Earsplitting complaints and shout of the audiences… all of it was temporarily relieved when you came in smiling… all of the annoyance disappeared when you sang us a song.

Lee Min Ho, I’m not an avid fan, but I was speechless when I saw you. Though I partly regret going there because of my missed responsibility as a Medical student, but it was actually worth it. Oh well, not worth the obligations I have as a practicing Muslim. :(

Last night, you were 4-5 person away from us but it felt like you’re too far from reach! :)

Just Random Thoughts

I woke up this midnight with a heavy heart. Afraid of the things that I’m not sure of… like passing the 5 long exams tomorrow. I was about to study but I cannot focus. My heart beats so strong and fast!

I often wonder why we have certain emotions. Emotions that’s either can make us or a lot of times, can break us. My uncle used to tell me that I should not let my emotions control me, they are just temporary. So why do we need them? How to make use of them? How to get through them in an instant? One of the emotions I ponder the most is fear. What/Who exactly are we meant to be afraid of?

A lot of times we are afraid of pursuing our careers out of fear of not having the income we desire. Or well in my part, pursuing my career for the fear of being rejected by the people I value the most. Is that fear in its proper place? How about someone who is afraid of the dark and being alone?

My understanding of fear, and all other emotions, is that we need it to survive. Fear prevents us from destroying ourselves. It gives us limits. The most important of all is the fear of Allah and His punishment. There is no greater disaster one can face than Allah’s displeasure. This fear is the one we needed the most and we should spend our lifetime attaining.

As for everything else I believe if we try to learn more about it, put our trust in Allah, and work our hardest, anything is possible. We should not doubt ourselves and never ever doubt the capabilities of Allah. When we put our trust in Him anything will be possible!

There is really nothing to fear on earth when we have Allah. What we have to be afraid of is Allah’s wrath in the hereafter if we fail to obey Him.

Time flies so fast. Today I might be counting weeks before our Final Exam, but sooner it would be days then hours then minutes more… Oftentimes, I cannot help but wonder where will I be a month from now? Is it in my prison (dormitory) or out there while being sun kissed? Who will be my companions by then? My family, or my room mate or worst alone? What am I doing? Will I be one of the happiest or the regretful? Well that is certainly uncertain and unanswerable by this time! Only God knows.

It would definitely be another heart-breaking story of my life as a Med student if I would not make the grade for the second time. Another failure in which I do not know if I could still accept. (I swear! that’s the worst feeling ever!) But whatever it is, I trust Allah. He is the wisest. Whatever the results will be and wherever I will be… it’s Allah’s plan. And it’s a perfect plan. I just have to trust Him.

Oh how sweet is that feeling when you are an outright passer! Inshaa Allah, miracle will happen and my name would be included there again… Ameen Ya Allah!


Don’t worry if your goals seem crazy to other people; oftentimes the crazy ideas are the ones that have the greatest impact.
-Unknown

Don’t worry if your goals seem crazy to other people; oftentimes the crazy ideas are the ones that have the greatest impact.

-Unknown

What a #Robbin’s vs. #MaryHigginsClark day! What to choose? What to choose… lalala :)

If only the excitement and thrill that I’m feeling everytime I have a new suspense book to read is same as when reading ALL my medical books, grades would no longer be a big problem. Oh well that’s me… Robbin’s, Katzung, Bates, Schwartz, Nelson, etc. are ALL boring! :D